COUPLES THERAPY: MARRIAGE COUNSELLING IN SINGAPORE
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What is Marriage Counselling?
Marriage counselling, also known as couples therapy or couples counselling, is a type of therapy that aims to improve the couple functioning and make relationships a source of deep meaning and satisfaction for both partners.. It involves sessions with a trained therapist who helps couples identify core issues, manage conflicts in constructive ways, deepen communication, with the aim to strengthen their relationship. Common issues couples face include relationships with in-laws, parenting differences, financial issues, poor communication and conflict resolution, differences in expectations, abuse, infidelity and substance abuse.
Most couples seek marriage counselling in Singapore when they believe their relationship has reached a point where both parties feel they cannot continue living together. Couples do not need to wait till such as stage of decision-making to seek help. Often, it is helpful to be proactive and reach out for help when professional help to needed to resolve negative patterns of conflict.
When should I Seek Marriage Counselling?
Proactively seeking help helps to strengthen your relationship and prevent the negative patterns from worsening. Here are some common reasons when it may be helpful to consider marriage counselling:
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Communication Issues: Persistent misunderstandings, frequent arguments, or difficulty expressing thoughts, feelings, or needs effectively.
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Repeated Conflicts: Couples find themselves in repetitive patterns of conflict without resolution, or conflicts escalate quickly and become heated or even aggressive.
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Emotional Distance: Feeling disconnected, emotionally distant, or lacking intimacy in the relationship.
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Trust Issues: Betrayal, infidelity, or breaches of trust that have strained the relationship.
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Major Life Changes: Adjusting to significant life transitions such as becoming parents, job changes, moving to a new city, or dealing with health issues.
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Parenting Challenges: Differences in parenting styles or challenges in co-parenting that create tension or conflict.
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Loss of Connection: Feeling like you're drifting apart, or that you no longer understand each other as well as you used to.
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Decision-Making Conflicts: Difficulty making decisions together, especially regarding major life choices or financial matters.
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Pre-Marital Counseling: Engaging in counseling before marriage can help couples strengthen their relationship, clarify expectations, and address potential areas of concern.
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Desire for Growth: Couples who want to improve their relationship skills, deepen their emotional connection, and foster a healthier partnership.
Approaches Of Marriage Counselling in Singapore
Marriage counselling in Singapore can be approached in a number of ways. It’s important to understand and evaluate the individual factors as well as the relationship dynamics at play and any external factors that may be contributing to the couple's issues. Therapists are trained in at least one of the following methods, and might utilise an integrated form of couple therapy to work with the unique factors and needs of each couple.
Gottman Method Couple Therapy
The Gottman Method Couple Therapy is backed by 40 years of psychological research looking into what makes relationships work. The goals of the Gottman Method include increasing closeness and friendship behaviours, addressing conflict productively, and building a life of shared meaning together.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a form of psychotherapy that seeks to uncover the issues behind attachment and bonding in a relationship and enhance them. It works by identifying negative interaction patterns and reframing issues that may be impacting the relationship, with the aim of improving secure attachment within the relationship.
Behavioural Couple Therapy
Behavioural Couple Therapy is based on the idea that certain actions don’t happen in isolation and can be shaped or influenced. By positively reinforcing positive behaviours that foster stronger more stable relationships, and discouraging behaviours that negatively impact the relationship, couples can find progress in their connections with one another.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), is another form of psychotherapy that can help married couples having problems in their relationships. CBT involves identifying problematic or detrimental thought patterns that translate into unwanted behaviour, and taking appropriate steps to solve them. When used alongside communication or assertiveness training, it can set married couples on the right path towards stabilising their relationship.
What Happens in Marriage Counselling
Build Emotional Intimacy
Couples learn to explore and express emotions and foster empathy towards each other's feelings and experiences. Therapists will encourage vulnerability and sharing of personal thoughts and feelings by facilitating a safe and support environment for both.
Work on Conflict Resolution
Conflicts are inevitable in a marriage and it becomes problematic when the conflicts becomes escalated into criticism, blaming and periods of cold war. In couple therapy, the couples will learn constructive ways to handle conflicts and disagreements. Sometimes this happens through compromise and negotiation, but very often, it is about finding the space to express one's feelings, hopes, fears, and desires to the other partner, without the need to quickly fix the problem.
Address Past Hurts & Trauma
In couple therapy, therapists often help couples to heal from past relationship injuries, whether in the current or past relationships. In some couples, the attachment injury are serious and can happen in the form of infidelity, substance abuse, or domestic violence. Healing is possible when both partners have a willingness to engage in the repair process. Through marriage counselling, therapists will work with the couple to heal the relationship and to move forward together.
Create a Shared Vision for Future
One goal of marriage counselling in Singapore is to increase the overall satisfaction both parties feel about the future of their relationship. Part of marriage counselling assist partners in setting mutual goals and aspirations, discuss and plan for important life stages and transitions together with the hopes to foster a sense of unity and partnership in facing future challenges.