COUPLES THERAPY: MARRIAGE COUNSELLING IN SINGAPORE
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What is Marriage Counselling?
Marriage counselling, also known as relationship therapy or couples counselling, is a type of therapy that aims to improve couple functioning and make relationships a source of deep meaning and satisfaction for both partners. It involves sessions with a trained couple therapist who helps couples identify core issues, manage conflicts in constructive ways, deepen communication, with the aim to strengthen their relationship. Common relationship issues couples face include relationships with in-laws, parenting differences, financial issues, poor communication and conflict resolution, differences in expectations, abuse, infidelity, and substance abuse.
Most couples seek marriage counselling in Singapore when they believe their relationship has reached a point where both parties feel they cannot continue living together. However, couples do not need to wait till such a stage of decision-making to seek help. Often, it is helpful to be proactive and reach out for help when professional assistance is needed to resolve negative patterns of conflict. A relationship counsellor or couples therapist can provide valuable guidance in addressing these challenges.
When should I Seek Marriage Counselling?
Proactively seeking help from a marriage counsellor in Singapore helps to strengthen your relationship and prevent negative patterns from worsening. Here are some common reasons when it may be helpful to consider couple counseling or relationship therapy:
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Communication Issues: Persistent misunderstandings, frequent arguments, or difficulty expressing thoughts, feelings, or needs effectively. Improving communication skills is often a key focus in relationship counselling.
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Repeated Conflicts: Couples find themselves in repetitive patterns of conflict without resolution, or conflicts escalate quickly and become heated or even aggressive.
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Emotional Distance: Feeling disconnected, emotionally distant, or lacking intimacy in the relationship. Addressing intimacy issues is crucial for relationship satisfaction.
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Trust Issues: Betrayal, infidelity, or breaches of trust that have strained the relationship. Trust building and rebuilding trust are essential components of marital therapy.
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Major Life Changes: Adjusting to significant life transitions such as becoming parents, job changes, moving to a new city, or dealing with health issues.
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Parenting Challenges: Differences in parenting styles or challenges in co-parenting that create tension or conflict.
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Loss of Connection: Feeling like you're drifting apart, or that you no longer understand each other as well as you used to.
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Decision-Making Conflicts: Difficulty making decisions together, especially regarding major life choices or financial matters.
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Premarital Counselling: Engaging in premarital counselling before marriage can help couples strengthen their relationship, clarify expectations, and address potential areas of concern.
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Desire for Growth: Couples who want to improve their relationship skills, deepen their emotional connection, and foster a healthier partnership.
Approaches Of Marriage Counselling in Singapore
Marriage counselling in Singapore can be approached in a number of ways. It's important to understand and evaluate the individual factors as well as the relationship dynamics at play and any external factors that may be contributing to the couple's issues. Relationship therapists are trained in at least one of the following methods and might utilise an integrated form of couple therapy to work with the unique factors and needs of each couple.
Gottman Method Couple Therapy
The Gottman Method Couple Therapy is backed by 40 years of psychological research looking into what makes relationships work. The model is an evidence-based approach designed to help couples achieve a deeper understanding, empathy, and connection in their relationships. The goals of this therapy include de-escalating conflicting verbal communication, increasing intimacy, respect, and affection, removing barriers that create stagnation, and fostering empathy and understanding within the relationship. Ultimately, the Gottman Method aims to strengthen relationships by improving communication, conflict management, and emotional connection
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is a form of psychotherapy that seeks to uncover the issues behind attachment and bonding in a relationship and enhance them. EFT views people as inherently social beings "hardwired" to seek strong emotional connections with loved ones. EFT operates on the understanding that relationship distress stems from a loss of secure emotional connection, leading to negative cycles of interaction. The goals of EFT include helping individuals and couples recognise, understand, and express their emotions, as well as restructure negative interaction patterns by fostering healthier communication skills. Ultimately, EFT seeks to create a more flexible and resilient relationship by guiding couples toward secure and intimate bonds, moving them from alienation to emotional engagement and defensiveness to openness
Developmental Model of Couple Therapy
The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy is an approach to relationship counselling that emphasises growth and development, both individually and as a couple. It posits that relationships naturally evolve through predictable stages, presenting unique challenges and opportunities for growth. Instead of focusing on pathology, this model helps couples understand these stages, manage conflicts constructively, and develop stronger emotional connections. The primary goals include helping couples understand the natural progression of relationships, equipping them with tools to manage stress and adapt to changes, improving communication, and fostering a deeper emotional connection. Ultimately, the model aims to help couples become better partners and a more effective team by understanding themselves and each other, breaking ineffective patterns, and building better ones.
Behavioural Couple Therapy
Behavioural Couple Therapy is based on the idea that certain actions don't happen in isolation and can be shaped or influenced. By positively reinforcing positive behaviors that foster stronger, more stable relationships, and discouraging behaviors that negatively impact the relationship, couples can find progress in their connections with one another.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is another form of psychotherapy that can help married couples having problems in their relationships. CBT involves identifying problematic or detrimental thought patterns that translate into unwanted behavior and taking appropriate steps to solve them. When used alongside communication or assertiveness training, it can set married couples on the right path towards stabilising their relationship.
What Happens in Marriage Counselling
Build Emotional Intimacy
Couples learn to explore and express emotions and foster empathy towards each other's feelings and experiences. Therapists will encourage vulnerability and sharing of personal thoughts and feelings by facilitating a safe and supportive environment for both partners. This process helps address emotional needs and strengthen the emotional bond.
Work on Conflict Resolution
Conflicts are inevitable in a marriage, and it becomes problematic when the conflicts escalate into criticism, blaming, and periods of cold war. In couple therapy, the couples will learn constructive ways to handle conflicts and disagreements. Sometimes this happens through compromise and negotiation, but very often, it is about finding the space to express one's feelings, hopes, fears, and desires to the other partner, without the need to quickly fix the problem. Effective communication is key in resolving relationship struggles.
Address Past Hurts & Trauma
In couple therapy, relationship therapists often help couples to heal from past relationship injuries, whether in the current or past relationships. In some couples, the attachment injuries are serious and can happen in the form of infidelity, substance abuse, or domestic violence. Healing from infidelity is possible when both partners have a willingness to engage in the repair process. Through marriage counselling, therapists will work with the couple to heal the relationship and to move forward together.
Create a Shared Vision for Future
One goal of marriage counselling in Singapore is to increase the overall satisfaction both parties feel about the future of their relationship. Part of relationship counselling assists partners in setting mutual goals and aspirations, discussing and planning for important life stages and transitions together with the hopes to foster a sense of unity and partnership in facing future challenges.
For couples in distress or those facing significant relationship challenges, some therapists offer intensive programs like a marriage intensive or couple marathon therapy. These intense sessions can be particularly helpful for addressing deep-seated issues or when traditional weekly sessions are insufficient.
In conclusion, whether you're seeking couple counselling in Singapore, looking for a marriage counsellor in Singapore, or interested in relationship therapy Singapore has to offer, remember that seeking help is a sign of strength. It demonstrates your commitment to improving your relationship and addressing relationship problems proactively. With the guidance of a skilled relationship therapist Singapore couples can work through their issues, enhance their communication, and build a stronger, more satisfying partnership.